


The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by thespianlesbian



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, F/M, FYI, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Swearing, alana is a CLOSETED lesbian, but not that closeted, but some stuff is changed, but zoe and evan are Best Pals™, connor and jared are here and queer, connor's got boderline personality disorder, connor's sam, evan's charlie, evan's got his anxiety of course, healthy-ish siblings, its a perks of being a wallflower au!!!, lots of swearing, they still have they're problematic moments tho, underage drinking and drug use, zoe and jared are pals bc i live for that friendship, zoe is also gay as fuck, zoe's patrick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-11-19 15:44:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespianlesbian/pseuds/thespianlesbian
Summary: Evan Hansen is a wallflower. Never getting involved, never participating. He just watches from the sidelines._________surprise its a perks of being a wallflower au





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> just for reference  
> zoe and connor are both seniors. connor's still older by a few months, though. evan's a junior who just moved to a new school  
> this is just the first part i'll probably continue if people actually like this???  
> also i've read the book and seen the movie but for my sake, this is following the movie

_Sorry honey, late night again. :(_

_I’ll try to make it home soon! Luv u <3_

Evan sighed when he read the text. Then he felt bad for doing so. His mother works hard to keep a roof over their heads. Yet, Evan's anxiety makes it difficult to order out so he often doesn't eat on nights his mother works late. Having to socialize with another person means more opportunities for Evan to make an embarrassment of himself. The delivery guy could notice how sweaty and gross Evan's hands are when he gives the Evan his change. Or he could read the wrong price for something he ordered and he ends up not having enough money for it. That would mean the delivery man would have driven all the way out to his house for nothing. 

Putting his bonsai tree on the left corner of his desk, he finally unpacked the last box. He was finally moved into his room. His mom has been on his ass to make sure Evan unpacked his room. She wanted this done before school started so his “new friends” didn’t have to come over to an empty room. He wasn’t sure why his mother was so convinced this year was going to be different. Like this new school was going to change him and magically cure his anxiety. It’s probably those letters his therapist makes him write. She thinks they’re gonna change his life. Shit, Evan thought. He hasn’t even started on his new letter and he’s seeing his therapist tomorrow after his first day. The words “first day” made Evan’s chest hurt and brain swim, but he didn’t want to go down that route quite yet. His panic attacks get little too violent when he’s alone. So in an attempt to push the thought of tomorrow away, he pulled out his laptop and began typing. 

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Today going to be a good day and here’s why; you haven’t had an awkward encounter with anyone for two weeks now. Granted you haven’t spoken to anyone besides your mother in those two weeks. Which of course is the best way to make friends. Who wouldn’t want to be best friends with the guy whose only other friend is his mother? Hell, even she gets annoyed with you. She’s tired of ordering food for you. She's exhausted of always having to analyze every word she says so you can’t misinterpret what she’s saying. She’s even starting to develop stutter of her own. Your own mother can’t stand to be around you. You’re probably the reason dad left._

And with that Evan shut his laptop. He can’t escape it, his own mind manipulating every word someone says against him. Evan gets so tired of his own fucking brain fighting against him. He sat his laptop on his desk with little force, but the tiny thud it made was still loud enough to make him flinch. He grabbed his phone from where it lay on the desk charging and laid down on his bed. Evan didn’t know why he charged it, he hardly used it so the battery was never that low. Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to sleep he pulled up Youtube on his phone. Evan has gotten into the habit of listening to of the sounds of rain to help calm him down and sleep. It’s probably weird considering most of the things he does Evan would classify as weird, but it helps him. 

_____________

Evan has decided that high school itself is hell. At first, he thought it was just his old school. With the pretentious students who called Evan every name in the book. The dark and shitty drama room and the music department with little to no instruments. The giant and brand new gym where Evan would get accosted by students declaring him a faggot. He assumed that all that fuckery made his school hell. As it turns out, high school, in general, is hell. This school has old pale yellow lockers that can’t fit more than two binders. Rusted pipes running throughout the boys’ bathroom. Suspicious colored water coming from the water foundations. Most unbearable of all, it’s loud and unpredictable students. These kids were not afraid to speak to Evan. When they did, his stutter, his sweaty hands, and the low volume he spoke in where all indicators that Evan was not worth their time. Most people, in fact, feel this way. He gets it. 

He spent first and second period alone. He sat by himself at a completely empty table at lunch, but third block was a little different. There was this girl, Zoe Murphy. She wasn’t like the other seniors Evan’s seen today. She was in Evan’s Environmental Science class, which, since the class is new, made Zoe one of the only seniors in there. Instead of bitching about being stuck in a class with freshmen, she made the best of it. When the teacher left the room, Zoe got up in front of the class and mimicked how he walked. She tied her hair up in a tight bun behind her head in efforts to mock Mr. Washington’s baldness. She got the freshmen, including Evan, to let out some much-needed laughter. She walked over to Evan and leaned over his desk. In an old man voice, she said, “You millennials don’t understand the struggle. Try fighting a war, now that’s a struggle.” Evan actually laughed aloud, which is surprising since he tries his best to not to make a sound. She walked around the room continuing this impression trying to get the class to cheer up. It seemed as though she remembered how awful the first day is for freshmen. Pretty much the whole class was laughing, that is, until Mr. Washington came back. 

“I don’t think you should be following in the footsteps of your brother, Ms. Murphy.” Washington said with a pointed tone. Zoe took down her long brown hair from its bun with a look on her face Evan couldn’t quite identify. She looked as if it almost pained her to be called ‘Ms. Murphy’. Evan doesn’t know her brother, but it seems he doesn’t have the best reputation. Zoe gave the teacher a forced smile, “With all due respect Mr. Washington, but call me Zoe, or nothing.” Mr. Washington gave her a satisfied grin, “Alright, Nothing.” Some of the class snickered while Zoe rolled her eyes and made her way to her seat, which was in front of Evan. “Well, why don’t you go ahead and read us the introductory paragraph in our textbooks, Nothing.” With more snickered and a heavy sigh from Zoe, she flipped to the page. “Welcome to Earth and Environmental Science,” she read with sarcastic enthusiasm. “Buckle up kids, this introduction paragraph is a whole page long.” She said to the class, earning her another pointed look from Mr. Washington. She sighed and carried on her reading.

__________________

“So how was your first day, honey? Did you ask anyone to sign your cast?” Heidi Hansen asked her son as she sat down on the couch, placing the box on pizza on the coffee table. Before answering, Evan grabbed him a slice and sat across from her on the love seat. “It was alright. The school’s pretty crowded. There’s a lot of kids.” He said, then took a bite of pizza to ignore his mother’s worried glance. “You didn’t answer my question.” Heidi said in that tone. The tone Evan knew all too well. It was a mixture of nervousness and lightheartedness. It’s clear that no one has signed his cast, but she’s worried he hasn’t even tried to ask anyone. She’s worried that Evan hasn’t made any friends, which is silly because of course, he hasn’t. Why would anything be different? They’re in a new house, a new school, and he has a new therapist. Yet he’s still Evan. He’s anxiety isn’t going to go away. In fact, now hardly anyone knows him. If he were to disappear right now, who’d even notice that he vanished? 

“Well, there’s always tomorrow, huh?” Heidi put on a smile. Although Evan saw the smile fall when she went to through the crust of her pizza back in the box. “Yeah, I guess.” Evan tried for an optimistic tone, but he usually failed at those. “Hey, I know! The homecoming game is this Friday, right? You could try going to that! I’m sure you’ll meet some friends there.” While the thought filled Evan with dread, his mom sounded so hopeful he couldn’t deny her. “Yeah, sure.” He said, standing up and picking up the box of pizza. Before he could say anything else he walked into the kitchen. He heard his mom from the living room talking about all the possibilities that could happen at that game. Evan put the box in the refrigerator and started washing up the dishes that were left out. He always saved the leftovers when they ordered in. It spares him from going hungry on nights that his mother works. “Oh, here honey, let me finish these dishes up.” His mother insisted when she finally came into the kitchen. Before Evan could protest, his mother reminded him of his assignment. “Besides, you have your letter to write for today.”  
_____________

Never in his life did Evan think he would actually be going to homecoming. Sure, he said he’d go to please his mother. He’d assumed he’d go home. Since his mother was working anyways, he’ll tell her that he went for a few minutes but couldn’t last the whole game. He hated lying to her, but he hated loud, crowded places even worse. Yet when Evan got home, he discovered his mother had taken off. “The game starts at six, right honey? You probably want to get there a bit early to beat the crowd. Grab a jacket and meet me in the car!” Heidi Hansen happily told her son when she heard him walk through the door. 

And that’s he found himself here. With a box of nachos in one hand and a soda in the other. He was making his way towards the packed bleachers. There was no way in hell he was going to be able to find a seat alone. Each bleacher was filled with students, he had no idea where to go. That is until he heard a familiar voice scream at the team. “What are you doing Mulligan? Run!” Zoe Murphy yelled. Evan walked toward the section she was sitting at. There was a little bit of room around her. Evan sat at the very end of a row that was across from Zoe’s. He looked down at his food. Debated even saying anything. God, why was he even here? He hated himself for staying. Why would Zoe even want to be associated with him? 

“Hey!” Zoe’s voice caught his attention, and much to Evan’s surprise, she was actually looking at him. “You’re in my science class, right?” She smiled. Evan started to reply but the crowd erupted into cheers and his voice was drowned out. She motioned for Evan to sit by her, and for a split second, he thought he imagined it. “You want to sit over here?” She asked, and he quickly moved to her. He sat at the end of her row. “Thanks, Zoe.” Evan said, and Zoe grinned. “No worries.” Before Evan could say anything else, two girls walked by their row, “Hey Nothing!” One of them shouted. “You’re not original! Or funny!” She yelled back as they walked away. “Thanks for not calling me ‘Nothing.’ You know these assholes actually think they’re being funny?” She sounded so fed up. Evan couldn’t blame her. 

“Is there anything more disgusting than the boys’ bathroom?” A voice asked Zoe. Evan looked over at the guy who was only a few inches away from him. He had brown hair, almost the same color as Zoe’s, and he wore a black hoodie with matching black skinny jeans. His face had sharp features, and all Evan could focus on was the little spec of brown in his otherwise blue eyes. “I’m pretty sure a dumpster is cleaner.” Zoe replied while scooting over, pushing into the person next to her. Evan assumed she was making room for this guy, so he followed Zoe. “How much longer until half-time?” The guy asked, his eyes focusing on the game. “About two minutes.” Zoe answered before screaming at the game again. The guy was just as into the game, “Come on Price! Fucking tackle him!” 

When the buzzer for halftime rang, Evan couldn’t have been happier. Finally, this mystery man spoke up, “Well,” he cleared his throat and nodded towards Evan. “Are you going to introduce me?” With that Zoe’s face lit up. “Oh yeah! This is…” her voice trailed off, and Evan realized that Zoe actually didn’t know his name yet. “Evan Hansen.” He finally spoke up, giving the other boy a slight nod. “Ah, Evan, meet Connor. Connor, meet Evan.” Connor looked to Evan, “Hey.” He gave Evan a short greeting. Right as Evan opened his mouth Zoe yelled, “Fuck it up, Alana!” Evan noticed she was looking at the cheerleaders now. In fact, Evan thought she was paying more attention to the cheerleaders than the actual game. While Connor switches between watching the people around him to focusing back on the game. They’d often have conversations in front of Evan, talking about their friends. Although he never really felt left out. One of the siblings would fill him in on who they were talking about. For once in his life, Evan didn’t feel that incredibly awkward between two people he barely met. The two siblings carried on their own conversations, occasionally bringing Evan in. The anxious boy didn’t have to stress about awkward silence. It was wonderful. 

_______________

After the game the three of them went to a diner. Evan didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. He listened to their conversations. He would only say something whenever they spoke directly to him. He learned that their friend Jared Kleinman is what Zoe calls a “lovable asshat.” Evan’s not sure what that means but he nods his head anyways. He also noticed that whenever the conversation came to a brief end, Connor would start lightly tapping his fingers on the table. Or whenever Zoe brought up a guy named John Connor would tuck his hair behind his ears. Another thing Connor would always do is that he included Evan. Whenever he got the chance to pull Evan into their conversation. He’d ask his opinions on the life choices their friends make, or what classes Evan was in. They even had their own short conversation. She left to go to the bathroom and Connor brought up the book he was currently reading. They started going on about books they’ve read to stuff they’d want to do when they get out of school. Then Zoe came back and said their mother had texted Zoe, requesting them to come home. Connor looked miserable the minute she said those words. He started narrowing his eyes at Zoe, but then his face lit up. “We got to take Evan home first!” 

That’s how he ends up in a car, between the two Murphy siblings. Connor was driving and blaring some angsty, loud, rock music. Well, he was until Zoe changed the station. Some pop song was playing that Zoe knew all the words too. Evan heard a faint whispering and turned over to Connor, who was mouthing all the lyrics. When he met Evan’s eyes, he grinned and turned his head. Yet Evan still saw the blush spread from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. 

"I wonder if they'll actually play good music at the dance." 

"Zoe, you know they won't. They never do."

"I'm trying to be optimistic here, Connor." 

"You going to the dance tomorrow, Hansen?"

"I, uh, I h-hadn't planned on it, you know? Like I don't r-really have a reason to go and I also have n-no one to with, so." Evan said all in one breath. The question caught him completely off guard. If he was being honest with himself, he didn't even know there was a dance. "Okay, that's a bullshit excuse." Zoe was polite enough to point out. Evan didn't know what to say. "Just go, and we'll meet you there. We can all hang out and dance to the god awful music they play." Zoe offers and Connor looks over to Evan. It was then he realized they were the driveway to Evan's small house. "Uh, I mean yeah. Yeah, I can go, I don't know if I can get a ride though." Evan said, then Connor and Zoe share a look. "Evan you are sitting in my perfectly capable car. We can take you." Connor gives Evan a small grin while Zoe is almost beaming. "Well, it's settled! We'll see you then!" She says, then slide out of the passenger seat to let him out. As Zoe slides back into the car, Evan turns back to say goodbye. However, it's silenced by Zoe's pop music and Connor insisting that she turn it off. It didn't really matter anyways. Evan was too busy thinking of everything that could go wrong tomorrow.


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a homecoming dance and a wild teen party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sorry it took so long to get this one out, i had to finish some school work and there was a death in my family  
> anyways  
> thanks for all the comments guys!! they give me the motivation to actually finish this shit  
> feel free to leave more comments about the headcannons since i'm still working out the kinks, or critiques about the writing!  
> also i barely looked over this so pls pay no attention to any typos thanks

The gym was a decent size. Big enough to hold half of the school with a reasonable area for a dance floor. The lights had a blue tint to them, and there were long blue and silver streamers hanging from the ceiling. The streamers kept tickling Connor face, resulting in him ripping several streamers down. "Jesus Christ, they couldn't have cut these a little fucking shorter, could they?" Connor asked to no one in particular while the three of them made their way to the snack table. 

"No, brother dear, it would ruin the aesthetic." Zoe replied. 

"Oh yes, God forbid they fuck up their precious aesthetic.”

“It looks like Nick Jr. threw up in here.” Connor added with a mouth full of a hamburger slider, much to his sister's disgust. "You put the ass in class." Zoe deadpanned, causing Evan to snicker. "It's a part of my charm." Connor gave them both a shit-eating grin. Before Zoe could say anything else, the pop song they all listened to in Connor's truck came on. 

Evan glanced at Connor to see him roll his eyes with the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. Evan looked over his shoulder to where Zoe last was, only to find that she was already gone, quickly making her way to the dance floor. Evan would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy watching her dance.Not in a weird or anything, not like Evan’s totally checking her out because that would make things awkward and weird. It’s just that Zoe danced like the rest of the world isn’t there. Between the Murphy siblings, Zoe was the one to care more about what people think. The minute Mr. Washington made a remark about her becoming Connor, she started keeping her smart ass remarks to a minimum. However, when Zoe was dancing, it's like no one else mattered. She no longer worried about what her peers thought, or who was even near her. She danced while a smile that was the brightest thing in this shitty gym. Probably the brightest thing in this shitty school. 

"She always does that." Connor grinned. He filled a little plastic cup up with punch and took a sip. Then almost instantly put it down and made a face. Evan made a mental note not to drink the punch. "Always does what?" He asked while Connor was stuffing cookies in his mouth, most likely in attempts to get rid of the taste of the punch. "That's the only reason that Zoe insists we come to shitty school functions. She gets to dance." He said, with his mouth full of food, yet again. "I mean shitty school functions are the only places she gets to dance in public since she won't let me get her a fake I.D." Evan raised an eyebrow at that. "You have a fake I.D?" Connor finally faced Evan and grinned. Evan was convinced that stunning smiles are genetic. “The answer to that question, depends on who's asking it." 

"Oh my God, you know Connor when you said you were only coming for the food I thought you were joking." Zoe had reappeared, and it was only then Evan realized that song had ended.

"You should start taking me more seriously." Connor matter-of-factly. 

"I will when you learn basic manners, like not speaking when your mouth is full." Zoe was quick with the remark that caused Evan to chuckle. 

Then a song came on. A song that made Zoe let out another blinding smile, and made Connor raise his eyebrows. "They're playing good music!" Zoe said. "They're actually playing good music." Connor grinned. Zoe turned to face Connor, "Living room routine?" She asked in all seriousness. "Living room routine!" Connor answered, pulling Zoe onto the dance floor. Evan had no idea what that meant, but he was quick to catch up. Connor grabbed Zoe's hand and spun her around, yelling at the other people dancing to make way. So the siblings had choreographed an entire dance in this one song. The dance itself did not stick to a certain style. One minute they were doing what looked like the tango, to kicking their legs out sporadically. Evan swore he saw Connor do a quick little tap dance. Evan couldn't stop grinning watching the two. He also couldn't stop from feeling alone. He longed to have someone like that. Someone he can choreograph dumb dances with. 

Maybe he did have someone. Maybe he had two people to dance ridiculously with. Why else would Zoe and Connor invite him to the Homecoming dance in the first place? So, for once in his life Evan listened to his therapist and started participating in life. He started walking up to the two siblings. Connor was the first to notice him. "Hansen!" He greeted the boy, grabbing his hand. "Evan! Fancy meeting you here!" Zoe grabbed his shoulder, carefully avoid his other casted arm. There was a lot of spinning, and off beat clapping, and he's sure they annoyed anyone else who was on the dance floor. Yet Evan couldn't find it in him to care. 

______  
If someone had told Evan two weeks ago that he'd be at a house party, he'd probably laugh in their face. Yet here he is, walking up to a house bigger than all of the houses Evan’s lived in, combined. The house already had a lot of people in it, which left Evan under the impression they were late. However, the way people greeted Zoe when they walked in, Evan assumed that it was forgivable. Evan briefly wondered why people weren't as welcoming to Connor. He turned to ask him, but the older man had already left. "Evan," Zoe called to him, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "This is what fun looks like."

Zoe walked Evan through the party. In the kitchen, there was a couple making out against the counter that Zoe and Evan interrupted. Before they left Zoe handed him a red solo cup filled with beer. He took a sip, and while Zoe wasn't watching, quickly spit it back out. He had no clue how Zoe drink that shit as if it was a cold Mountain Dew.

The next spot Zoe lead him to was the living room. In the middle of the room, there was an L-shaped couch, with about five people sitting on and three people sitting on the floor in front of it. Zoe approached two guys who were sitting on the black leather couch. "Evan, this is Jared Kleinman, the most tolerable asshole you'll ever meet." She said from where she stood behind Jared. He made no attempts to get up. "You know I'm really surprised you considered me the asshole when you have to live with Connor." Jared said, finally turning to him with a grin, and Evan noticed his teeth stuck out a little bit. Evan also small brown spot in his otherwise blue eyes were noticeable even behind his glasses. "Hey, kid." Evan gave him a short nod as a greeting. "And this is Michael." Zoe introduced the guy with a red hoodie who sat next to Jared. Before Evan could say anything to Michael, Zoe leaned to down their level from where the two guys sat on the couch. "Now, this is Evan's first party, so I expect nice, meaningful, heartfelt blowjobs from both of you.” She grinned as Michael scoffed and Jared laughed. Evan felt his face heat up. He started looking around the room for Connor. "Listen, Zoe, I'm game if you are." Jared smirked as Zoe made a face. Cool. So now Evan was wondering where the nearest bridge was. 

"Right." Zoe ended that conversation. "With that, I'm off. Jared, don't be a dick." She looked to Jared one last time and then left. “Alana!” Zoe greeted a girl Evan recognized as one of the cheerleaders. She looked as if she didn’t want to be near Zoe. Before Evan could watch Zoe any longer, Jared caught his attention.  
“So, Evan.” Jared gestured him to sit next to him. Evan had to push past a few people to get from behind the couch. He sat next to Jared, instantly looking around for Connor. “What happened to your arm?” Jared asks, finally looking over at Evan. “Oh, i-it’s funny story actually, you see I, uh I fell out of a tree.” Jared choked on a laugh, then shot Evan that incredulous look that he expected to get whenever he told this story. “You fell out of a tree? What are you, an acorn?” Jared remarked. “T-The funny thing is that when I landed I laid there waiting. Waiting for s-someone to come get me. I kept thinking, a-any minute now someone’s gonna come.” Evan said, looking straight ahead. “Well? Did they?” Jared pegged. “No. No one came that’s the funny part.” 

Jared, for the first time all night, looked speechless. It was then a tall man with an accent passed a tray to Michael, which Jared quickly snatched from Michael’s hands. “Here, man. Take a fucking brownie.” He pushed the tray towards Evan as he took one. “Thanks, Jared, I haven’t eaten anything since the dance, I’m starving.”  
____

“Nah, man. School is shit, people are fake, teachers are sleeping with students, it’s all a shit show.” Everyone who surrounded Evan laughed, although Jared’s laugh rose above everyone else’s. Not because his laugh meant something to Evan, it’s just he was so fucking loud. “Jared, calm down man, I’m pretty sure my ears are ringing.” Evan wasn’t sure why he actually said that out loud, but he did and people laughed. Jared’s jaw dropped in shock and maybe a little hurt. Possibly a lot of hurt. But he eventually joined in on the laughter. “I can’t even be mad at the guy!” Evan wasn’t sure why so many people were paying attention to him, or laughing at the stupid things that fell out of his mouth. He didn’t fully realize how many people were around him until he noticed Connor struggle to push through the crowd to speak to him. “Evan! What are you doing?” He asked. Evan thought about this question for a minute. “Well, according to Zoe’s definition, I’m having fun.” Again, the crowd laughed. Evan could fucking sneeze and the crowd would burst into tears. Connor looked around at everyone, then back to the younger boy sitting on the floor in front of half the senior class. 

“Evan, are you fucking high?”

“As a kite. Well, that’s what Michael said.” 

More laughter. 

“Do you need anything? Do you even want to be here?”

Silence. 

“I kinda want a milkshake.” 

Jared’s laugh got the crowd going again. Connor told Evan to follow him. It only took Evan two tries to get up and then he was following Connor into what he assumed was the kitchen. He was right. The kitchen was huge, Evan noted as he sat down on a stool in front of the kitchen counter. “Who let you get so baked?” Connor asked as he pulled out the blender from the cabinet on the kitchen counter. Evan had no idea why Connor knew where everything was in here, this wasn’t his house. “Oh, Jared did. I told him how I broke my arm and he gave me a brownie. Which Michael later informed me was a pot brownie.” Connor let out a chuckle and Evan thought he was going to throw up. “Shit, however you broke your arm caused Jared to get you high?” Evan didn’t trust his mouth and what he might say around Connor so he just nodded. “How bad was it?” Connor asked while grabbing the milk from the fridge. Evan furrowed his eyebrows. “How bad was what?” 

“The way you broke your arm.” 

“Oh.”

“Was it like a four car pile up where everyone died except you?” Connor guessed while he poured the milk into the blender. “Quite the opposite. I threw myself out of a tree.” Connor looked straight into Evan’s eyes. “What?” Evan screwed his eyes shut for a second. His brain was telling him to shut up, but his mouth kept going. “It’s actually pretty funny, you see, because my father always told me that I could never do anything right. Turns out I can’t even successfully kill myself.” He said all in one breath. Evan felt his throat tighten, all though he felt no other emotions. Maybe drugs aren’t so bad after all. 

“Chocolate or Vanilla?” Connor blinked, he almost sounded stunned. 

“What?”

“F-For the milkshake.” 

“Oh! Vanilla please.” 

Connor threw in the vanilla ice cream and blended. They sat in silence while the machine was going, Evan looking at everything but Connor, and Connor looking at nothing but Evan. The blender stopped. The silence continued until the older man poured Evan his drink and passed it to him. “No one’s signed your cast.” Connor pointed out. Evan chugged some of his drink to avoid that topic for as long as he can. “I know.” he mumbled quietly as he sat down his drink. “I’ll sign it.” Evan lifted his gaze to meet Connor’s. “You will?” Connor grinned and grabbed a sharpie from one of the drawers. It’s still a mystery why he knows where everything is in this place. “Yeah, here.” Connor made his way over to Evan, their faces only a few inches apart. He wrote his name in giant, capital letters. “Cool.” Evan said lamely. “Now we both have friends.” Connor grins. “Besides Zoe.” Evan added, and Connor playfully rolled his eyes. “She’s my sister, it doesn’t count.” Evan didn’t know what to say. Not that he was in awe at what Connor said or whatever, he just couldn’t think of anything witty or funny to let out. So his brain made him share personal details. “I have to pee.” Evan stated, not even sure why those words even came from his mouth. Luckily, Connor thought it was funny, rather than gross. “Bathroom’s upstairs.” He pointed, still chuckling lightly. 

___

Evan underestimated the number of rooms one house could have. He had literally no clue which one was the bathroom, and was really regretting not asking for specific directions. He took a chance and just started opening up doors. The first one was what appeared to be an office of some sorts. The next was a bedroom, which seems to belong to a little kid, judging from the Spiderman posters. The third door he quickly realized he should’ve never opened. Zoe was seated on the edge of the bed that was in the center of the room. With Alana on her lap. And they were kissing. Rather aggressively, Evan noted. When they heard the door open the instantly tore apart. “What the fuck?” Alana yelled. She sounded angry, but looked scared, nervous almost. “Ah, shit, Evan.” Zoe muttered, looking at her lap. Evan realized that he saw something he really shouldn’t have, and quickly shut the door before he could say anything dumb. 

The minute the door closed, he heard the two girls get into a heated discussion. By that, he means Zoe was talking as calmly as she can while Alana was panicking and almost shouting. Evan started to walk away when he heard the door open again. Zoe walked over to him, shutting the door behind her. She pulled Evan into what appears to be a closet. “Listen, Evan. You can’t tell anyone what you saw in there, alright? Not a soul.” Evan nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He kept blinking, finding it hard to focus on Zoe. “Wait, are you high?” Evan slowly nodded. “As a kite, according to Michael.” She let out a nervous laugh, that turned into genuine laughter. “Alright, okay. Great. Remember, tell no one, okay?” She looked at Evan seriously. “Not a soul!” Evan agreed. Zoe started making her way out again, until Evan grabbed her wrist. She shot him a confused glance. 

“Hey Zoe, where’s the bathroom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo 
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated :)

**Author's Note:**

> other characters coming in soon!!!! especially jared bc he's my favorite three-dimensional character!  
> also like i said if this is worth anything i'll keep going bc i really like the movie  
> there's probably issues with this au pls be nice to me in the comments i'm fragile :)


End file.
